Domestic Abuse

An ongoing debate has emerged in the American media regarding domestic abuse as exemplified by the now infamous Chris Brown and Rihanna incident. On route to the Grammys, Rihanna was violently beaten up by Chris in the midst of a fight. The picture taken of her bruises is nothing short of shocking and disturbing. The episode has made the American media dizzy with stories and speculations. 

Joy Behar on Larry King Live named domestic abuse as a 'dirty secret'. And I whole-heartedly agree. I have personally heard awful stories of my friends engaging in and encountering domestic abuse from their boyfriends and/or husbands. My declarations of such pratices being criminal fell into deaf ears. Oftentimes, I have noticed ( as troubling as it is) that my female friends had accepted the abuse as a necessary by-product of the relationships. 

In Bangladesh, living in a patriarchical society, it is not surprising that many families have witnessed domestic abuse. Usually the females from lower socio-economic milieus suffer the most from these practices. Yet they still remain entrenched within the abuse. I recall an incident told by one of my maids. She was relating how her sister was the sole breadearner in her family, while her sister's husband was lazy, unemployed, and violently abusive. However, instead of leaving him, her sister continued to being beaten up by him on grounds that if HE LEFT her she won't have the means to provide for her two young children. Her sister had illogically deduced that her work and earnings depended on her husband's presence in the home. Of course, she also factored in the social stigma associated in being a abandoned wife with fatherless children. 

Alas, the above scenario is the norm in Bangladesh. More than likely, females think they have to remain in abusive relationships, especially marriages, because the social implications and reactions of being abandoned or divorced far outweighs the abuse. What other options do they have?