To Marry or Not?

Women are akin to cattle. Bear with me, whereas cattle are highly coveted due to their promising abilities of milk production and reproduction, meaty constitutions; women are desired for their fair complexions, promising signs of sturdy procreation, and familial connections. These aspects create eligible women, and marriages define women. Does that make sense? Marriage identifies women through their marital status. Social norm dictates women are born to marry. Unmarried women are anomalies and desecrations to the social customs.Marriages should serve as the peak of a woman’s life. Let me depict my friend’s predicament. Her professional career is skyrocketing, where she is making colossal creative strides and has the prominent multi-national firms positively in a frenzy trying to recruit her. However, all is not well in her domestic front. Said female friend has just stepped into her late twenties and is still single/unmarried. Shocking! Her family, instead of basking in the glories of her professional progress, is deeply distraught by her single-ness. Whereas her female siblings were rapidly married of in their early twenties and are now ensconced in domestic bliss with burgeoning children, my friend is still single at 26 and has a career! She isn’t solely focusing on her career, she really does make an effort to meet all the men introduced by her relatives, but no one seems to interest her yet. Hence, she has ample time to direct all her energies into her career. I must admit at the face of the escalating tensions perpetuated by her parents’ and extended family’s worry over her unmarried status, my friend is displaying a staunch detachment and acceptance of her fate. She knows her parents would rather see her married off now than further progress up the career ladder. She has no choice in the matter. Marriage is the zenith of her existence.My friend’s dilemma brings me to my point – women are defined by these two simple questions: “Are you married? Are you looking to get married?” An unmarried woman is depicted emotionally and psychologically inferior to her married sisters. As an unmarried female in her twenties, how many times have you been asked the above two questions? How many times have you been coerced, persuaded, and in few instances, bullied into blind dates to snag a prospective husband? It is inconceivable to be a Bangladeshi woman in her twenties and happily single. People assume single/unmarried women cannot be genuinely content with themselves because happiness can only be attained through marriage. Therein lies the crux of marriage – marriage endows happiness. I am frequently bombarded by the two dreaded questions. Negative responses are quickly pacified by pitying looks, reassuring squeezes and pats, and a whispered admonition“don’t wait too long, it’s not good.” It’s not good for whom? Me? What are the plausible pitfalls attached to ‘waiting too long’? Shall I magically transform into a gigantic pumpkin, with my face contorting into ogre-esque proportions? And who decides how long is too long? In instances where I am expected to justify my unmarried status, the possible ramifications of my decision are clarified. Eligible males usually prefers maidens in their early twenties, procreation can be difficult during the thirties, my selfish individualism will hinder attempts to compromise and adapt to a husband’s needs. Ironically, my own needs and wants are discarded. I am a trooper dutifully trained to marry and breed. In times where divorces are in vogue, extra-marital affairs are solutions to ill-fated unions, who dare plunges into the sea of matrimony? Would it not be feasible to prolong my single-ness till I’ve met my match? Alas, they say I romanticize the concept of marriage. Sorry, I forget, I am supposed to marry and breed. It is a pragmatic merger. So I have determined the next time I am asked the above questions, I will glibly question my inquirer if he/she can give me three beneficial factors acquired by marriage. However those benefits must exclude the following assertions – so that my parents can see their only daughter married, so that my parents can have grandchildren to nurture, so that the inquirer can partake in the wedding festivities, and my happiness depends on it. I can honestly say the inquirer will be hard pressed to come up with a concrete rationale. Sure there are many females who gladly delve into matrimony for myriad reasons ranging from love to emancipation, but in general, can they all honestly decree marriages led to their happiness? I have been given a privilege that my friend never received. I can choose to wait to get married, whereas she doesn’t have that basic prerogative. Shouldn’t I be doing her a favor and myself by exercising that right?